Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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