so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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