Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
