pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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