How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
