I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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