lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
