So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
