I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
