The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Randomize
