Don't you send me to vm
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
