moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
