Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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