the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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