everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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