Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
