I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
