Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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