he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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