the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Still dying that you shit outside
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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