he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
