he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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