Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
