i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
