Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Boobs are out for the taking
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
