sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
wow bdsm is so cute
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