I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
