hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
