Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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