okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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