I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
