just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
