Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
