dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
