Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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