another moral hangover. fuck.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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