so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
