I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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