Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
