I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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