Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
