your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
