I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
