i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
