Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
