his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My balls are so social today.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
