Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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