then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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