my vag is so smooth its legendary
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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