An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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